I wrote this story a decade ago as I was fighting some bad spiritual warfare. At the time I had no outlet, and my pain was huge. So I started to write, and it became a newfound strength for me.
In the past whenever I fought, I’d take a huge loss. I knew when the fight happened that all was lost, and I was only slowing down the inevitable. Eventually, I found my weapon, my peace, and my source. These are the things I use now.
Don’t get me wrong, I still have to fight. But now I have emotional outlets for my pain, and friends to talk with. I’ve stopped losing, and know that I can win.
In fact, whenever you’re fighting spiritual warfare. It will be difficult, but you only lose when I surrender to the darkness. Because Jesus has shown us the way because he’s already won.
There’s a lot of bad information out there. So I’ve written an allegory. While I don’t know all the answers, I know there’s hope, and I hope you like it.
When You Fight Spiritual Warfare;
I can’t shake the feeling of pain and hurt inside of me. God, it’s shaking and tearing me apart. The darkness creeps in and I have nowhere to run. There is no refuge around me, and I don’t see the light.
God, I know you’re trying to make me whole again, but the wounds have engulfed my heart. I’m infected, wounded, and in constant pain. All I want is to be normal again. I’ve been here so long that I can’t even describe what my heart is telling me. A numbness has taken over my soul and emotions are foreign to me. Death would be a welcome release.
Spiritual warfare can come out of nowhere, and in the church, there isn’t a lot of training involved. In that regard, the church has failed many Followers of Christ. The only people in the Church who know about the spiritual world are the weird ones, and if you don’t know who that Christian is…it’s probably you.
When You Fight In Spiritual Warfare, You are not meant to fight alone. At the very least, bring God with you, But I like to Call A Couple Friends Too. Why would you not take maximum firepower?
In The Middle Of It All, I Had A Dream
In my dream, I see myself standing on the top of a beautiful grassy hill. It’s springtime and flowers are in bloom all over. Birds are chirping and the sun is high in the sky. In the distance at the base of the hill is a babbling brook. It’s the type of place you’d wanna have a picnic, not fight a battle,
I’m all alone, just enjoying the day, taking it all in. Then a loud noise jolts me from my moment of awe. A dark cloud has risen in the distance, and in the valley below an enemy warmest is gathering. They are an evil and demonic looking army. There are thousands or possibly millions of them. The instant I see them, I hear my heart say one thing;
They have come for me.
I’m all alone and the enemy has found me. They want my destruction and wish for my blood. Destruction is what they desire as my very existence insults them. Hopelessness and depression engulf my heart, there’s nothing to do, no help is coming. I resolve myself to stand and fight. I decide to take down as many as I can before I succumb to their blades.
Looking down at my hands I see two immaculate swords, and somehow I’m wearing a suit of armor. The armor looks like it was cut from a single diamond. It gleams in the sun and shines brightly.
Believing this is my last stand, I pray and ask God for strength. Asking that he guides my swords for maximum damage, I begin to move toward the enemy. But in the back of my mind, I wonder if he’ll help me, and at the very least hope, he sees my courage during this last stand.
I doubt God will rescue me, I’ve been fighting for years, and he hasn’t helped me. This is my battle, I’m not worthy of his rescue, why would he help now?
Spiritual Warfare Begins
With total resolve, I draw both of my swords from their scabbards, and I begin to run towards the enemy. It’s a downhill run and the enemy is close. Time slows down as I run, my life flashes before my eyes, and regret fills my heart. Even as I resign myself to death. I have no hope that I’ll be delivered, the enemy battle host is large, and I’m on my own.
The clash is great, and I continue to fight. The enemy cannot touch me, and many of these evil warriors from beyond fall to my blades. This goes on for hours, and I even begin to wonder and think that I can win this by myself. But that is when my strength starts to leave me. All of my endurance breaks away at dusk. So I begin to think of retreat, it’s my only option to survive.
That hope is dashed when I hear a war cry from behind me. A second battle group just as large as the first has cut off my escape. How did they even get here without me noticing? That doesn’t matter, all I can do is keep swinging.
I begin to despair, and that saps my strength.
You Live For The Fight When It’s All That You GotBon Jove – Living On A Prayer
The Fight Can Steal Your Hope
At the end of the battle, it’s dusk. The once beautiful green hill is covered in blood, broken equipment, and enemy bodies. A cold wind has started to blow across the field of battle, and the darkness has crept in.
Then I see myself, on my knees, completely encircled by the foul creatures. I’ve been fighting all day, and I’m broken, battered, and bleeding. My swords lay on the ground beside me, blunted and damaged beyond repair. I’ve been swinging them all day, and can’t lift my arms or even grab their hilts due to exhaustion. The enemy commander comes through the crowd and starts walking towards me.
He is menacing, tall, and has a snide grin on his face. He has won, he knows it, and I’m the prize. I have failed in my quest. Once more I’ve fallen into the sin I’m accustomed to, and once more I realize how worthless I am in God’s eyes. The end has to come, there has to be a way to stop this suffering. He lifts his black sword, and I stare down its length. It’s black and curved with barbs up the edge.
He places the sword under my chin, and I close my eyes, waiting for the death blow.
Keep Fighting In The Spirit
I know that it’s messed up, but originally that’s where my story ended and I believed the lies of the evil one. His rules never let me win, even when I tried everything my power.
I lived in this ground-hog day pattern and it made me despair and fall into depression, but there was a power inside of me that I needed to let out. This power was given to me by Jesus and came about because he died for me.
You might be in a similar spot, and you’re asking if God loves you. I know that God will save you. Just like he saved me. This doesn’t mean I’m not in despair, or that I don’t have problems. In fact, I think having Jesus in my life creates more problems. However, now I’m not alone, and when I have Jesus in my life. I can face anything. He listens to my prayers, and I can hear his voice.
When you’re fighting a spiritual battle, and you feel yourself losing the battle. Lift your eyes to the hills. That is where the lord’s help comes from. You need to place your trust in him, even when things seem impossible. He has a plan for everything, and even if we mess it up he can always right the ship.
Trusting In Jesus; Wearing The Full Armor
Trusting in Jesus is the only way you’ll get through this. You can be depressed, suicidal, or abused. It doesn’t matter if you turn to Jesus he’ll help you find freedom. Just pray and ask him to help you, ask to help you hear him.
Keep in mind there are the pieces of armor that God has given us to fight spiritual warfare. In Ephesians 6:10-18, Paul lists out why they’re given to us, and tells us how to use them.
- Wear The Belt Of Truth.
- The Breastplate Of Righteousness
- Feet Fitted With Readiness That Comes From The Gospel Of Peace
- The Shield Of Faith
- Helmet Of Salvation
- Sword Of the Spirit
He also goes on to say pray in the spirit on all occasions. Praying in the spirit, and speaking the name of Jesus has great power. Make you use it.
Spiritual Warfare, Part 2
My deliverer is coming, he is standing by and I have to believe it. These words came from somewhere. Maybe they blew in on the wind, but like a match, they sparked my heart. I open my eyes and stare at my enemy.
The enemy Commander is still standing in front of me, hatred in his eyes, and sweat running down his chin. I decided that I will not go out whimpering. So I lift my chin, with eyes defiantly staring straight into his. If I’m to die today, I’m not letting him see my fear.
As I’m staring at him, I flash a defiant grin. Surprisingly there is no fear in my heart. My only regret is that I raise my sword. I’d love to cut him in two. I wish for the strength to raise my sword once more.
This was how I saw myself at the end of this spiritual battle. It was a scene of utter depression and pain. Blood poured out of cracks and dents in my armor. That is when everything changed.
Suddenly the sun shone, clouds parted, and a voice from heaven bellowed down at me.
“Tell him to put down his sword”.
Well, that is stupid, I thought. He is about to kill me, I really want this all to end one way or the other. I’m tired of the endless battles, fighting, and losing. But I recognize the voice, and so I decide to obey it.
Win All Spiritual Warfare With Your Authority In Christ
Once I decided to act, the voice continued. “I have given you the authority, and it’s time for you to act speaking truth into existence.”
What did I have to lose? I lifted my chin and looked straight at the Commander. I think I saw fear creep into his eyes. Strenght came to my feet and I stood up yelling, “Drop your sword.” Sure enough, he dropped his sword, and all the enemies within earshot dropped their weapons too.
This was astonishing, I started yelling at the enemy host to drop their swords and every one of them began to do so. The battle had been won, and not by me or my swords (which were epic). It had been won by the authority Christ had given me. He has given each of his children this exact same authority, but most of us do not realize we have that kind of power.
As Christians, We need to exercise this authority more.
When Jesus said it is finished on the cross at Calvary, he’d completed what he came to do. Everything God wanted to accomplish was completed. Sickness was killed, sins were washed away, and victory over death was established. This was done 2000 years ago.
It doesn’t mean he doesn’t do anything today, I’m just saying the power to do so was established then. When Jesus said it is finished, it became our turn to do something.
Why do so many things have power over us today?
We haven’t learned how to fight with the authority of Jesus, and without that authority, we’re just swinging a sword. It might be effective, but eventually, we’re going to get tired. You must take the authority Christ has given you and stand up to the enemy. If you don’t, he will walk all over you.
- What areas of your life do you need to speak authority over?
- I know I can win now, do you?
- Is This A Struggle For You? Find Some Epic Friends.
- Live Your Best Life With Jesus
I was constantly fighting spiritual battles against depression, fear, and anxiety. I’d been at war for years. It still comes back, and I need to fight again.