If you’ve been following my blog for awhile you’ll notice I won’t shy away from the truth. In my book ‘Hurricane Jerald’ I talk a lot about fighting anxiety from my childhood experiences, and bringing them to light. Now I’d to go a little bit deeper.
I’ve never been diagnosed with PTSD, and I’m not qualified to diagnose it. If you find yourself fighting anxiety, or any mental issues. I’d like to stress right here and now that you need to find help. Whether it’s a medical professional, close friend, or a member of the clergy. DO NOT stay silent. Your healing is out there, but you have to find it. Also you’re not alone in this fight, please reach out, the world needs you and you’re here for a purpose. I promise you that.
How I Started Fighting Anxiety
I am a Follower of Jesus and I know many people that will take issue with the statement above. I don’t care, because my faith in him is how I define myself. The past doesn’t get any control over me. I have to overcome it.
The emotional abuse I experienced growing up is what drives me today. It taught me about fighting anxiety. Even to this day, pain will come out of nowhere, filling my heart up. This usually causes me to weep, so I’ll disappear pretty quickly when I sense it coming on.
However in recent years, I haven’t had to deal with this anxiety spiral as much. I’ve been able to deal with my past, and come up with great ways to help me keep fighting anxiety. I wrote a lengthy blog post about depression too, you can check it out by clicking on the hyperlink here.
Words have power, it’s why the truth is so important, and understanding the truth. In the church today we tend to lie a lot about how we feel. For example: A church member steps into a church vestibule. They’re coughing, wheezing, and sneezing. They’re obviously sick, but they keep saying; “I’m not sick, I don’t believe it,” Well there’s two things to deal with here.
You’re a liar.
And you’re infecting everyone else.
Be honest, ask for some prayer, go home, and take some Mucinex (The stuff is amazing)
We do the same thing with emotional trauma, except it’s not as visible. We tell ourselves we weren’t hurt, or they didn’t mean it. None of those reasons really matter though. If you were hurt, you need healing. Their intentions do not justify your pain.
Stop Fighting Anxiety.
This depends mostly on the situation. Most times, you can just let it go. When you feel anger or resentment, just forgive. Other times you’ll have to approach the person and tell them you were hurt. This takes a lot more courage to do.
I’ve had people do this to me before. I’m very blunt and love to joke with people so I’m sure it happens more than I notice.
That’s the shorter version, I’ve spelt out a lot of things you can do on two other blog post. You can find the links below:
How To Stop Fighting Depression
Fighting Anxiety With Gods Help
On both of these posts I go through basic steps I use to keep myself from falling into the spiral. You’re healing can come, but you have to make right choices and refocus. That’s not an easy choice to make. So find some friends, some family, and some some church people to help you on your way. It’ll be worth it, I promise.
Healing Never Comes From Being Alone.
One of the issues you’ll face in the fallout of emotional abuse, is a desire to pull yourself away from society. A voice will speak inside your head telling you nobody understands and they’ll think you’re crazy.
The funny thing about the voices, they’re telling someone else similar lies, and if you talked about it, you’d realize the truth. Community can help you find healing, and freedom.
When you lock yourself up, you’re stopping the outflow of pain and the inflow of healing. Your are holding onto the knife in your chest because it’s what is comfortable (crazy I know). However, when friends and family come around, they’ll help remove the knife. It’ll suck and be painful at first, but once it’s gone, you can heal.
Anxiety Can Stem From PTSD
Abuse whether mental or physical can cause major emotional damage. A lot of times the physical trauma that causes it becomes emotional. I’m not a psychologist but the two seem interconnected in my mind.
When I lived in Mississippi during Hurricane Katrina, I saw things that affected me for a long time afterwards. A simple smell or noise would instantly bring me back. This trauma at the time was physical, but it became psychological and caused me great distress.
When you experience something so traumatic that it breaks you emotionally, that will leave a scar. Whether it’s on a distant battlefield or from an abusive parent at home. the wounds, there gonna be there for awhile.
What Are The Signs Of Emotional Abuse?
I’ve noticed that I’ll spot emotionally abused people pretty quickly. It isn’t a super power or anything, but I look into peoples eyes a lot, and I’ve been on the other side of them and usually I can tell. However this isn’t foolproof, and I’m sure I miss people.
- A persons eyes will have no life. You’ll know it when you see it.
- These are the types of people who tend to be really hard on themselves. The littlest things will set them off. This behavior is learned because they are scared of messing up and drawing attention to themselves.
A lot of the signs are only noticed if you’re close to the person. If they have someone controlling them, degrading them. There is a good possibility they are being emotionally abused.
Can A Toxic Relationship Cause PTSD Or Other Emotional Trauma?
I grew up with an abusive father, and to this day I wonder if my morbid sense of humor developed from that. If the toxic relationship stops you from moving on, at least from fear. You might have an anxiety disorder or PTSD.
I’m not a Doctor/Lawyer/Psychologist ETC.
Keep in mind I’m not a doctor, I can’t diagnose you, I’m just a writer that writes from my personal experience. And in that experience, I’ve been through a lot of emotional abuse. If you’re struggling and you can’t find the way out. Know that Jesus loves you, and he wants to help you through this. You can learn about Jesus in the Bible, I like the book of John. It helps me see who Jesus really is.
Your path to healing is going to be a long one, it’ll probably hurt a bit more before it gets better. But once you start to heal, you’ll be amazed at how much life you missed.
Fighting Anxiety: What To Remember
Emotional abuse can start you on the road to fighting anxiety. For years I fought horrible feelings of inadequacy and not measuring up. This is what you should know:
- The World Needs You
- You Are Here For A Purpose
- There Is Something Only You Can Accomplish On This Planet
- You Are Loved, Even When You Feel You Aren’t
- The Negative Voices In Your Head Are Lying. You Were Made With Great Love And Attention