Since I became a writer a few years ago, I’ve been focusing on certain topics and you see them on my site. I’m honestly tired of writing blog posts on depression, and Forgiveness. Today’s topic is a breath of fresh air. It really excites me, because it’s the outcome of these posts. Emotional healing is an important aspect of your personal growth. We all go through pain and heartache, but only the people who let themselves heal ever find peace.
Today We’re going over some of the best tips so you can find your emotional healing but first I’ll go over the basics.
Emotional Healing: This is A Form Of Healing That Goes Deep Into Your Heart. It Has To Go That Deep Because These Wounds Are Deep. When You Are Hurt, Most Likely It Wasn’t Your Choice. However, It Poses A Question that you need to answer. Will You Hold Onto The Pain? Or Let It Go And Move On?
Emotional pain is like physical pain, in the aspect that they both take time to heal. The only difference is your actions afterward. For example, breaking your leg is a completely different feeling than remembering how you were cheated on. The former doesn’t usually bring the pain back, but the latter definitely does.
Depending on the wound you’ve received. Your emotional healing might take a long time. There are definitely ways to speed things up, and there are choices you can make that’ll slow or even stop your healing. My prayer is that this guide helps you on your journey.
Time Stops When A Heart Is Wounded
Have you ever had someone hurt you, and you wondered why the pain was so great? It couldn’t possibly come from that one wound, but for some reason, you feel like you’re going to die.
I know I’ve had this issue, and you’re right. This pain doesn’t come just from one person. It’s actually the straw that breaks the camel’s back (no camels were harmed in the writing of this post).
This can also be called Relational Pain. Relational pain is one of the most painful ways to be in pain. These broken relationships take a huge toll on a person’s mental and psychological health. Especially when there’s no closure, the pain stays in the heart and festers until someone trips up that person.
Then they experience an emotional explosion that could be equal to Mount Vesuvius.
A few years ago, I was dating a girl and before things got serious, she broke it off. Normally that wouldn’t be a huge issue, but for some reason, it brought back pain from a previous relationship. It was the pain I thought I’d dealt with but evidently, it was laying dormant.
I was angry, and I did and said things that she didn’t deserve. We weren’t that emotionally vested. It made no sense until I realized my attachment to the past. It was like time had stood still with that pain.
Dormant Emotional Pain Is Hard To Locate
It’s hard to know where you need healing unless the wound is bleeding. The problem with emotional pain is that it can come back whenever a memory resurfaces.
That’s why you should deal with it, whenever it comes up. When you face your pain, you allow it to heal properly. Then you won’t have to worry about it ever again. It’s like cleaning out a wound, it will never heal properly until it’s cleaned.
Emotional Healing Must Be Chosen
In American society, we blame everyone and everything but ourselves. When all participants get a trophy why should you try hard? We need to learn that sometimes it’s our fault. Whatever happened to personal responsibility?
To clarify the post above, I’m not saying if somebody caused you pain, that it’s your fault. They made a choice, and it tore your heart apart. Your choice comes afterward. What will you do with the pain in your heart?
Emotional healing and health come directly from that choice. Most people choose to get bitter, and they push everything deep down in their hearts. There’s a big problem with this. Hidden things never stay hidden, and they will come back to haunt you, and usually, it’ll happen at the worst times.
You have to deal with it as soon as possible, otherwise, it gets bigger, and starts to infect other areas of your life. Turn and face the pain, choose to forgive, and let it go. That’s the way to find emotional healing.
How To Start The Emotional Healing Process?
I went too long without walking toward my emotional healing When I finally reached the point of healing, it was really intense. My heart was like a faucet, and I cried for months (Not a Typo).
Every day I felt like dying, and it seemed like my emotional healing wasn’t happening. but these things take a lot of time. Still, I would live my life, by faking it all day at work, going home, and closing my bedroom door. Then it would all come flooding out. It was like the gusher that wouldn’t stop.
Emotional healing takes time, and sometimes it seems really cruel to go through. However you have to clean the wound before it can be dressed, and cleaning hurts.
If you’re here and have some emotional healing to work through, it will suck, but I promise it gets a lot better.
In the past before working through my emotional healing, I bottled everything up. Now when somebody hurts me, I ask myself a few questions.
Why does this even matter? What is my feelings of pride saying?
Are they important in my life? (No offense, but does their opinion matter.)
How can I resolve this?
Emotional healing takes a lot of time, and some of the pain we feel comes from our own pride. We want people to take us seriously, and respect us. And to some degree, I agree with that, but oftentimes, we hold ourselves in too high of esteem, and it doesn’t really matter.
The 5 Stages Of Emotional Healing
Stage One Grief And Denial:
This is the stage where most people stay. People say ignorance is bliss, but I don’t believe that. Ignorance will hurt worse. Sooner or later the pain will come out. When it comes out on your terms you can heal. When it comes out because there’s too much pressure, you’re going to hurt everyone around you.
Stage Tip: Identify where you’re hurting, and if you discover a need for emotional healing. It’s time to forgive and let things go.
Stage Two Anger:
At this stage, you’ve realized what has happened to you. There’s no realization yet about emotional healing, usually, your thoughts will turn toward revenge and justice. Anger is okay and even healthy, however, your actions might not be. Do not make important decisions involving the other party during this time without help. This will keep you from making a regrettable mistake.
Stage Tip: Have a mentor or uninvolved friend help you make choices and decisions. I have a couple of buddies I call when things happen just so I can get a clear perspective. Anger can cloud your judgment, don’t do something you’ll regret.
Stage Three Bargaining:
This is a stage that’s more prominent with grief, but it also happens when you’re angry with another person as well. During this stage, you’ll try to bargain and gain more time, or what you wanted.
For example, if someone close passes away, you try to bargain for more time. Most people will pray and ask God to help them. They’ll ask for more time and they’ll go to church or do good deeds.
While this stage might seem pointless. Many studies have occurred about prayer recently, and prayer might actually help. However prior to doing that you should read my blog posts about prayer and hearing the voice of God. They might give some extra clarification on the subject.
Stage Tip: Instead of just praying, listen for God, and try to hear and feel the direction he’s leading you. It could surprise you, and give you peace.
Stage Four Depression:
The realization has set in, and you feel hopeless. Your bargaining hasn’t worked and you’re still in grief. So what do you do? Sit and wallow in the pain. It’s what most of us do, but there is a better way, and that’s the next step.
Stage Tip: If you’re depressed, get outside and do something. Sitting inside will only cause more pain and heartache. In the summer I play volleyball and go biking. During the winter I snowboard. Doing something outside in the sun will help you improve your mood and drive the depression away.
Stage Five Acceptance:
At this point, your emotional healing is well on its way. You’ve accepted what’s happened and now you’re moving on. This doesn’t mean you’re forgetting what happened or that what happened was okay. It just means you’re moving on and letting go of the emotions attached to it.
Stage Tips: Move on, try something new, and never dwell on the past. There’s only pain back there in that memory.
Working Towards Emotional Healing
When I was growing up, I handled it the way I explained above. I pushed it down, deep into my heart, and I never let it see the light of day. This is how most people deal with their issues, and it still comes back.
I’ve noticed at times when I get angry at another person, that my anger runs deeper than theirs. Once I realize that I explore the pain a little bit. I ask myself when have I felt this before? What does this remind me of?
Eventually, I find the answer, and then I’m able to look at the pain, forgive, and let it go.
This is something you can do as well. It’s simple and easy. I write a lot about how God helped me forgive my father, and he can do the same for you. I hope this has helped, and you have an awesome day.
Sterling grew up in the suburbs of Minneapolis. As a kid he loved skateboarding but mostly did street riding. He injured his ankle badly when he dropped into his first half pipe. His skateboarding slowed down after that, but he still loved the sport.
While in his 20's he needed to make a change, so he did some world traveling with a motivational speaking group. Through it all, he visited 46 states and 3 continents and eventually lived in Mississippi. In 2005, Hurricane Katrina tore through the state. He jumped into the fray, helping mobilize support for the evacuees of New Orleans & The Gulf Coast. During the aftermath he helped run a shelter and drove food & medical supplies to affected areas by truck. Currently he lives in Minneapolis, runs his snowboard shop, and shreds Vail Whenever he can.