Since I became a writer a few years ago, I’ve been focusing on certain topics and you see them on my site. I’m honestly tired of writing blog posts on depression, and Forgiveness. Today’s topic is a breath of fresh air. It really excites me, because it’s the outcome of these posts. Emotional healing is an important aspect of your personal growth. We all go through pain and heartache, but only the people who let themselves heal ever find peace.
Today We’re going over some of the best tips so you can find your emotional healing but first I’ll go over the basics.
Emotional Healing: Is A Form Of Healing That Goes Deep Into Your Heart. It Has To Go That Deep Because These Wounds Are Deep. When You Are Hurt, Most Likely It Wasn’t Your Choice. However, It Poses A Question that you need to answer. Will You Hold Onto The Pain? Or Let It Go And Move On?
Emotional Healing Takes Time
Emotional pain is like physical pain, in the aspect that they both take time to heal. The only difference is your actions afterward. For example, breaking your leg is a completely different feeling than remembering how you were cheated on. The former doesn’t usually bring the pain back, but the latter definitely does.
Depending on the wound you’ve received. Your emotional healing might take a long time. There are definitely ways to speed things up, and there are choices you can make that’ll slow or even stop your healing. My prayer is that this guide helps you on your journey.
Time Stops When A Heart Is Wounded
Have you ever had someone hurt you, and you wondered why the pain was so great? It couldn’t possibly come from that one wound, but for some reason, you feel like you’re going to die.
I know I’ve had this issue, and you’re right. This pain doesn’t come just from one person. It’s actually the straw that breaks the camel’s back (no camels were harmed in the writing of this post).
This can also be called Relational Pain. Relational pain is one of the most painful ways to be in pain. These broken relationships take a huge toll on a person’s mental and psychological health. Especially when there’s no closure, the pain stays in the heart and festers until someone trips up that person.
Then they experience an emotional explosion that could be the equal to Mount Vesuvius.
A few years ago, I was dating a girl and before things got serious, she broke it off. Normally that wouldn’t be a huge issue, but for some reason, it brought back pain from a previous relationship. It was the pain I thought I’d dealt with but evidently, it was laying dormant.
I was angry, and I did and said things that she didn’t deserve. We weren’t that emotionally vested. It made no sense until I realized my attachment from the past. It was like time had stood still with that pain.
Dormant Emotional Pain Is Hard To Locate
It’s hard to know where you need healing unless the wound is bleeding. The problem with emotional pain is that it can come back whenever a memory resurfaces.
That’s why you should deal with it, whenever it comes up. When you face your pain, you allow it to heal properly. Then you won’t have to worry about it ever again. It’s like cleaning out a wound, it will never heal properly until it’s cleaned.
Emotional Healing Must Be Chosen
In American society, we blame everyone and everything but ourselves. When all participants get a trophy why should you try hard? We need to learn that sometimes it’s our fault. Whatever happened to personal responsibility?
To clarify the post above, I’m not saying if somebody caused you pain, that it’s your fault. They made a choice, and it tore your heart apart. Your choice comes afterward. What will you do with the pain in your heart?
Emotional healing and health come directly from that choice. Most people choose to get bitter, and they push everything deep down in their hearts. There’s a big problem with this. Hidden things never stay hidden, and they will come back to haunt you, and usually, it’ll happen at the worst times.
You have to deal with it as soon as possible, otherwise, it gets bigger, and starts to infect other areas of your life. Turn and face the pain, choose to forgive, and let it go. That’s the way to find emotional healing.
How To Start The Emotional Healing Process?
I went too long without choosing to heal. It came out of my heart, and it was intense. I cried for months (Not a Typo). I would fake it all day at work, go home and close my bedroom door. Then it would all come flooding out. It was like the gusher that wouldn’t stop.
I went to long without healing, and I bottled everything up. When somebody hurts me, I ask some questions.
- Are they important in my life? (No offense, but does their opinion matter.)
- How can I resolve this?
If the first question is a no, then I can shrug it off. Usually, issues like that come from misunderstandings, so I try and figure out why they did or said that.
When the answer is yes, a lot of times I’ll know their motivation. That’s when I move deeper into number 2 and find out why my friend, family member, a colleague is acting that way. I might still be misinterpreting things, but I want them to know how I feel, and maybe we can learn something in the process.
The 5 Stages Of Emotional Healing
Stage One Grief And Denial:
This is the stage where most people stay. People say ignorance is bliss, but I don’t believe that. Ignorance will hurt worse. Sooner or later the pain will come out. When it comes out on your terms you can heal. When it comes out because there’s too much pressure, you’re going to hurt everyone around you.
Stage Tip: Identify where you’re hurting, and if you discover a need for emotional healing. It’s time to forgive and let things go.
Stage Two Anger:
At this stage, you’ve realized what has happened to you. There’s no realization yet about emotional healing, usually, your thoughts will turn towards revenge and justice. Anger is okay and even healthy, however, your actions might not be. Do not make important decisions involving the other party during this time without help. This will keep you from making a regrettable mistake.
Stage Tip: Have a mentor or uninvolved friend help you make choices and decisions. I have a couple of buddies I call when things happen just so I can get a clear perspective. Anger can cloud your judgment, don’t do something you’ll regret.
Stage Three Bargaining:
This is a stage that’s more prominent with grief, but it also happens when you’re angry with another person as well. During this stage, you’ll try to bargain and gain more time, or what you wanted.
For example, if someone close passes away, you try to bargain for more time. Most people will pray and ask God to help them. They’ll ask for more time and they’ll go to church or do good deeds.
While this stage might seem pointless. Many studies have occurred about prayer recently, and prayer might actually help. However prior to doing that you should read my blog posts about prayer and hearing the voice of God. They might give some extra clarification on the subject.
Stage Tip: Instead of just praying, listen for God, and try to hear and feel the direction he’s leading you. It could surprise you, and give you peace.
Stage Four Depression:
The realization has set in, and you feel hopeless. Your bargaining hasn’t worked and you’re still in grief. So what do you do? Sit and wallow in the pain. It’s what most of us do, but there is a better way, and that’s the next step.
Stage Tip: If you’re depressed, get outside and do something. Sitting inside will only cause more pain and heartache. In the summer I play volleyball and go biking. During the winter I snowboard. Doing something out side in the sun will help you improve your mood and drive the depression away.
Stage Five Acceptance:
At this point, your emotional healing is well on its way. You’ve accepted what’s happened and now you’re moving on. This doesn’t mean you’re forgetting what happened or that what happened was okay. It just means you’re moving on and letting go of the emotions attached to it.
Stage Tips: Move on, try something new, and never dwell on the past. There’s only pain back there in that memory.
Working Towards Emotional Healing
When I was growing up, I handled it the way I explained above. I pushed it down, deep into my heart, and I never let it see the light of day. This is how most people deal with their issues, and it still comes back.
I’ve noticed at times when I get angry at another person, that my anger runs deeper than them. Once I realize that I explore the pain a little bit. I ask myself when have I felt this before? What does this remind me of?
Eventually I find the answer, and then I’m able to look at the pain, forgive, and let it go.
This is something you can do as well. It’s simple and easy. I write a lot about how God helped me forgive my father, and he can do the same for you. I hope this has helped, and you have an awesome day.
- If You’d Like To Read More About Emotional Pain I’ve Written A More In-Depth Article About The Healing Process. Click Here To Read It.
- If you’d like to purchase E. Sterlings Autobiography Click Here
- If You’d Like To Read More About The Subject Of Hope. Click Here For Another An Amazing Article.